Category: Blogroll

Is this really just a “guy” thing?

OK guys, I think we have probably all been here.

Old Phone
Old Phone

You get a call from a close friend of both you and your wife–or perhaps from one of your kids or relatives on either side of the fence.

You chat for a bit, say goodbye and then hang up the phone.

Throughout the call your wife has been listening intently from the other room (because that is what comes naturally)–perhaps even asking you at some point–or perhaps continuously: “who is it, what do they want, what are they talking about or why are they calling?”

Of course not a single one of the questions filters into your consciousness–other than as something like a mosquito keeping you from paying attention to the caller.

After you hang up she asks, “So who was it?”

“Matt.”

“My sister’s Matt?”

“Yup.”

“What did he want?”

“Not much.”

“Well what did he say?”

“Not much—just wanted to let us know that the baby finally arrived.”

Screams of hysterical joy fill the room, accompanied by much gesticulating, hyperventilation and several “oh my gods!”

“Was it a boy or a girl?”

“I don’t know.”

“Didn’t you ask?”

“No.”

“How much did it weight?”

“I don’t know.”

“Didn’t you ask?”

“No.”

“How long was labor?”

“I don’t know.”

“Didn’t you ask?”

“No.”

“Have they named it yet?”

“I don’t know.”

“Didn’t you ask?”

“No.”

“How is my sister doing?”

“I don’t know.”

“Didn’t you ask?”

“He sounded fine on the phone—-he didn’t say anything was wrong.”

“How come you never ask the IMPORTANT questions?”

“I don’t know.”

 

By Charles Buell

 

Guys, we have all been here.

You get a call from a close friend of both you and your wife—or perhaps from one of your kids or relatives on either side of the fence.

You chat for a bit, say goodbye and then hang up the phone.

Throughout the call your wife has been listening intently from the other room—perhaps even asking you: “who is it, what do they want, what are they talking about or why are they calling”—throughout the whole call.

Of course not a single one of the questions filters into your consciousness.

After you hang up she asks, “So who was it?”

“Matt.”

“My sister’s Matt?”

“Yup.”

“What did he want?”

“Not much.”

“Well what did he say?”

“Not much—just wanted to let us know that the baby finally arrived.”

Screams of hysterical joy fill the room, accompanied by much gesticulating, hyperventilation and several “oh my gods!”

“Was it a boy or a girl?”

“I don’t know.”

“Didn’t you ask?”

“No.”

“How much did it weight?”

“I don’t know.”

“Didn’t you ask?”

“No.”

“How long was labor?”

“I don’t know.”

“Didn’t you ask?”

“No.”

“Have they named it yet?”

“I don’t know.”

“Didn’t you ask?”

“No.”

“How is my sister doing?”

“I don’t know.”

“Didn’t you ask?”

“He sounded fine on the phone—-he didn’t say anything was wrong.”

“How come you never ask the IMPORTANT questions?”

“I don’t know.”

 

– See more at: http://activerain.com/blogsview/2014335/for-guys-only-well-ok-and-the-women-that-live-with-us-#sthash.AOIXVli1.dpuf

FOR GUYS ONLY!! ……well OK, and the women that live with us. (edit/delete)

 

Guys, we have all been here.

You get a call from a close friend of both you and your wife—or perhaps from one of your kids or relatives on either side of the fence. 

Who you gonna callYou chat for a bit, say goodbye and then hang up the phone.

Throughout the call your wife has been listening intently from the other room—perhaps even asking you: “who is it, what do they want, what are they talking about or why are they calling”—throughout the whole call. 

Of course not a single one of the questions filters into your consciousness.

After you hang up she asks, “So who was it?”

“Matt.”

“My sister’s Matt?”

“Yup.”

“What did he want?”

“Not much.”

“Well what did he say?”

“Not much—just wanted to let us know that the baby finally arrived.”

Screams of hysterical joy fill the room, accompanied by much gesticulating, hyperventilation and several “oh my gods!”

“Was it a boy or a girl?”

“I don’t know.”

“Didn’t you ask?”

“No.”

“How much did it weight?”

“I don’t know.”

“Didn’t you ask?”

“No.”

“How long was labor?”

“I don’t know.”

“Didn’t you ask?”

“No.”

“Have they named it yet?”

“I don’t know.”

“Didn’t you ask?”

“No.”

“How is my sister doing?”

“I don’t know.”

“Didn’t you ask?”

“He sounded fine on the phone—-he didn’t say anything was wrong.”

“How come you never ask the IMPORTANT questions?”

“I don’t know.”

– See more at: http://activerain.com/blogsview/2014335/for-guys-only-well-ok-and-the-women-that-live-with-us-#sthash.AOIXVli1.dpuf

The Real Reason Gunfighters Died Young

“Jesse, is that you out there?”

The Doc's House
The Doc’s House

“It’s me Doc–open up.”

The sounds of cumbersome door-bolts could be heard.

“Come on in Jesse–where’s your brother and the rest of the gang?”

“Doc, if I told you that I would have to kill you,” Jesse joked.  “They’re holed up outside of town probably sitting around the campfire laughing their asses off right about now.”

“Why–what’s so funny?” chuckled Doc.

“Because of my damn hand,” whined Jesse.

“What is wrong with your hand?” as he gestured to Jesse to give him his hand.

“Well–that is why I came to see you–it ain’t working right.  The other day I tried to draw my gun and it just fell on the floor–nearly got me killed–not to mention shooting off part of my boot.  Can you help me?  What do you think is wrong with it Doc.”

Doc looked down at Jesse’s damaged boot and cracked a half smile.

“Looks like you got lucky there Jesse.”

Doc took Jesse’s hand and rotated it at the wrist–he did some standard resistance testing and then gave Jesse his hand back.

“Well Doc?”

“Looks like Carpel Tunnel to me.”

“What the heck is that?  Carpets?  Tunnels?  Doc, you been drinkin’ again?”

“Seriously, I think it’s Carpel Tunnel–it’s when the nerves in the wrist get restricted due to inflammation and it keeps your hand from working right–along with being very painful.  Very common in jobs that have a lot of repetitive motion–you know–like doing the same thing over and over again,” explained Doc.  “When you go jerking a 2-1/2 bound hunk of steel out of your holster repetitively and go wavin’ it around, or spinning it on one finger–its bound to injure something sooner or later.  Experts say that the condition has a lot to do with genetics and other conditions.  The repetitive-motion component is really secondary to underlying causes that are not clearly understood yet.”

Jesse’s eyes glazed over and he gave Doc a look that was clearly questioning whether Doc was sober or had lost his mind.

“Doc, you gotta be kidding me–I gotta be able to use my hand–and what the heck are Gen Ticks?”

Jesse felt like the Doc was speaking a foreign language.

“Jə-‘net-iks,” Doc pronounced, “–let me see,” Doc paused for a moment, “–did you ever notice that when you breed a Pomeranian with a Samoyed that the puppies end of looking like a Sameranians?  Did you ever notice that kids that all have the same father and mother tend to look the same—kind of the opposite of you and your brothers?

“Uhhh–not sure I follow you there Doc.”

Doc could see this line of conversation was not going anywhere.

“Did you ever think of maybe entering a different line of work?” asked Doc.

“Like what–this is all I know–and who is gonna take care of my brothers?

“Well–you know–there are government programs to retrain people to do other jobs, don’t you?”

Jesse was pretty sure now that Doc had lost his mind, AND had been drinking.

“Doc, at the last post office I was in, I noticed that the ‘government’ is likely to be more interested in ‘restraining’ me than in ‘retraining’ me,” Jesse joked.

“You have a point there Jesse,” Doc said with a chuckle.  “I know it is probably hard for you to find the time, but there are some exercises you can do that might help, and you might want to find a gun that is a little more ergonomic.  Some experts believe that a diet high in Omega-3 Fatty Acids can help–so cutting down on the free-range beef and switching to more salmon and fresh vegetables may alleviate some of the symptoms.”

“So now you expect me to drag a cook along on the trail–and move to Seattle?”

All of this was proof to Jesse that Doc was crazy, had been doing snuff, AND had been drinking.  He was equally sure at this point that Doc was NOT going to be able to help him very much.

Jesse was feeling a little depressed and desperate after seeing Doc.  The doctor, realizing that Jesse was not about to take his advice, gave him some laudanum and sent him on his way. 

“Say howdy to the rest of the gang–and good luck with that hand,” Doc yelled after him.

Jesse rode off into the night.

The rest is history.

 

By Charles Buell

 

     “Jesse, is that you out there?”

     “It’s me Doc—–open up.”

The sounds of cumbersome door-bolts could be heard.

Doc's House     “Come on in Jesse—-where’s your brother and the rest of the gang?”

     “Doc, if I told you that I would have to kill you,” Jesse joked.  “They’re holed up outside of town probably sitting around the campfire laughing their asses off about now.”

     “Why—-what’s so funny?” chuckled Doc.

     “Because of my damn hand,” whines Jesse.

     “What is wrong with your hand?”

     “Well—-that is why I came to see you—-it ain’t working right.  The other day I tried to draw my gun and it just fell on the floor—-nearly got me killed—-not to mention shooting off part of my boot.  Can you help me?  What do you think is wrong with it Doc.”

     Doc looked down at Jesse’s damaged boot and cracked a half smile.

     “Looks like you got lucky there Jesse.”

     Doc took Jesse’s hand and rotated it at the wrist—-he did some standard resistance testing and then gave Jesse his hand back.

     “Well Doc?”

     “Looks like Carpel Tunnel to me.”

     “What the heck is that?  Carpets?  Tunnels?  Doc, you been drinkin’ again?”

Cactus     “Seriously, I think it’s Carpel Tunnel—-it’s when the nerves in the wrist get restricted due to inflammation and it keeps your hand from working right—-along with being very painful.  Very common in jobs that have a lot of repetitive motion—-you know—-like doing the same thing over and over again,” explained Doc.  “When you go jerking a 2-1/2 bound hunk of steel out of your holster repetitively and go wavin’ it around—-its bound to injure something sooner or later.  Experts say that the condition has a lot to do with genetics and other conditions.  The repetitive-motion component is really secondary to underlying causes that are not clearly understood yet.”

     Jesse gave Doc a look that was clearly questioning whether Doc was sober or had lost his mind.

     “Doc, you gotta be kidding me—–I gotta be able to use my hand—-and what the heck are Gen Ticks?”Riding into the night

     “Jə-‘net-iks,” Doc pronounced, “—-let me see,” Doc paused for a moment,”—–did you ever notice that when you breed a Pomeranian with a Samoyed that the puppies end of looking like a Sameranians?

     “Uhhh—-not sure I follow you there Doc.”

     “Did you ever think of maybe entering a different line of work?” asked Doc.

     “Like what—-this is all I know—-and who is gonna take care of my brothers?

     “Well—-you know—-there are government programs to retrain people to do other jobs, don’t you?”

     Jesse was pretty sure now that Doc had lost his mind, AND had been drinking.

     “Doc, at the last post office I was in, I noticed that the ‘government’ is likely to be more interested in ‘restraining’ me than in ‘retraining’ me,” Jesse joked.

     “You have a point there Jesse,” Doc said with a chuckle.  “I know it is probably hard for you to find the time, but there are some exercises you can do that might help, and you might want to find a gun that is a little more ergonomic.  Some experts believe that a diet high in Omega-3 Fatty Acids can help—-so cutting down on the free-range beef and switching to more salmon and fresh vegetables may alleviate some of the symptoms.”

     “So now you expect me to drag a cook along on the trail—-and move to Seattle?”

     All of this was proof to Jesse that Doc was crazy, had been doing snuff, AND had been drinking.  He was equally sure at this point that Doc was NOT going to be able to help him very much.

     Jesse was feeling a little depressed and desperate after seeing Doc.  The doctor, realizing that Jesse was not about to take his advice, gave him some laudanum and sent him on his way. 

     “Say howdy to the rest of the gang—-and good luck with that hand,” Doc yelled after him.

     Jesse rode off into the night.

     The rest is history.

– See more at: http://activerain.com/blogsview/1204120/why-gun-fighters-died-young-#sthash.6xmPPF7B.dpuf

Fear Runs Deep

foglightIt is unfortunate that those we fear, or hate, or shun, so often hold the key to understanding who we are.  The fear, of understanding ourselves, runs deep.

Adrift in the Bathtub of Life

Someone once had the epiphany that as soon as you figure out how to bribe a kid to do something–they have the audacity to change the rules and you have to start all over.

bolting3What that person wasn’t enlightened enough to tell me was that when we become adults we have to stay aware that the rules also get changed–without our permission or without announcement.

Isn’t this the sort of thing that should go out over CNN or FOX News or at least those sources of REAL news like You-Tube or Facebook?

Aren’t there laws against changing the rules?  After all it can be very disconcerting when you are in flight, with landing still hours away, and you find out that the plane in which you were comfortably snoozing is now a parachute and the wind is whistling through your hair.  I guess we should just be thankful that the chute opened.  That is called being prepared–many are not.

The lesson in all this is that the more tuned-in, vigilant and prepared we are for the rule changes in our lives, the easier it is to stay afloat in the bathtub of life–to re-invent ourselves.

I wonder if people who are used to breaking the rules, or at least bending the rules, are more adept at embracing rule changes when they do happen.  Or, are they just as vulnerable as the rest of us?

When the rules change and you find yourself with “nuthin”–living under a bridge, or in your car–I can tell you from experience that you can re-group, figure out the new rules, and find new ways to keep a roof over your head and food in your belly.  When you have found yourself in this place you also become acutely aware that learning the new rules is NOT guaranteed.

The people that daily jump off the bridges they sleep under is a testament to this fact.

It is an absolute myth that we are never given more than we can handle–it happens ALL the time, to all kinds of people.

Also having been in that place, I can tell you that finding the right place at the right time requires that you be there.

Sometimes people embrace the changes in their lives by being lucky–by being in the right place at the right time.

In difficult times it is imperative that we be in the right place at the right time–luck may not be enough–and you may have pissed off all your friends and family by then.  Being “comfortable” becomes a luxury as opposed to something to which we are entitled–and certainly not something to be taken for granted.

We all have opportunities to be in the right place at the right time–having the skills or the presence of mind to recognize these opportunities when we see them is the only real question.

 

By Charles Buell